“I’d sign up for any class that will teach my kid to put away toys!”  That’s what one parent said to me when he saw my one and a half year old clean up after himself, putting toys back in the basket they came in.  Another mom said, “How did you get him to do that?  I always end up putting all her toys away once she is asleep.”  I told them truthfully it’s really easy to teach your child to put away toys.  Just as soon as they can take toys out, they can learn to put toys back.  They both said, “How do you do it!?!”

Here are some basic facts to help you understand why it is not such a difficult task:

• Children don’t see cleaning up as a chore (like we do), they just see it as another activity.

• Children like to be involved in anything that we (the parent) are doing.

• Children like to imitate.

• Children like routine.

• Children will follow direction if you make it fun, especially if the activity is paired with a song.

• Children do not only like order, but they thrive in an environment that is neat, uncluttered, orderly and aesthetically beautiful.

Here’s how I did it:

When my boy was about 8 months old, I started showing him how to put toys away.  I would sing the words “bum-bum” (just like they did in his music class when they put the musical instruments away) as I made a repetitive movement with my hand by picking up a toy and dropping it into the basket.  I did this several times in a row.  Then I would hand him a toy to put in the basket and continue the repetitive movement with my hand as I dropped each toy into the basket.  Because children like to imitate, my boy began to drop toys into the basket.  When children see a repetitive movement, especially when paired with a sound (or sing-songy sound), they can’t help but imitate it.  Dropping the toys in the basket seems like a fun game when paired with a sound.  And when a child sees a grown-up do something, they believe that is what is supposed to be done.

After doing this time and time again, I wouldn’t have to hand him the toy to put into the basket.  Instead, when I said “bum-bum, time to put away toys”, he would reach for toys on the floor and put them where he knew they belonged.

In my home, each type of toy has it’s own place categorized by theme.  For instance, I have all the musical instruments in one basket, while another basket has all of his cooking toys and another area there is a parking garage where he parks his cars and trucks.  I would put the toys in the same place every time.  To my amazement, before he was a year old, he learned that each type of toy has its own place and he would put it there.

It is important not to have clutter so that a child can really see what toys he has and be able to enjoy them.  I think of this as similar to a shopping experience at a high-end boutique store versus a Ross Dress for Less or a Marshall’s discount store where there are so many clothes stuffed onto the rack that it’s difficult to see if there is anything you like.  Whereas at a boutique store, there are fewer items displayed so that you can really appreciate and admire each outfit.  Children respond similarly, but are even more sensitive to their environment.  In my opinion, most American children have too many toys.  If there are too many toys in the room, even the coolest toys end up looking like a huge pile of clutter to a child.

Tips to Avoid Clutter:

•Rotate your child’s toys so that he or she is not overloaded.

•Try to keep the categorical themes, but switch out a car for a new one and store the other one away for another day.

•Take away toys that your child has outgrown.

• Display the toys as if you were a boutique store rather than a discount store.

So now that my boy is a year and a half old, I tell him that we have to “bum-bum” his toys before we leave the house.  I tell him about the fun things we are going to be doing, but he has to “bum-bum” before we can do those fun things.  This is very motivating and he puts away his toys very fast.  And I love that I come home to a clean house!  We also tell him to “bum-bum” before bed.  The thing about children is that they love routine, so if they know it is expected that they put toys away before they leave the house and before they go to bed, they will make a habit of it.  I’ve also showed him to “bum-bum” his cooking toys before he moves on to playing with his blocks, but this hasn’t stuck with him quite yet.

Now since he’s capable, when it is time to clean up, I walk him around the house and point to things and ask him “where does this go?”  He knows where it goes and puts it in the appropriate place.  Sometimes if there is a mess, he will point it out as if to say, “this is not how it should be, let’s clean it up.”

Speaking of messes… children need to be told what to do and how to do it rather than telling them what not to do (like saying, “Don’t make a mess.”)  I used to get so exasperated when my boy would throw things (especially food) on the floor.  I would tell him not to throw things on the floor, but he would do it over and over.  I finally realized that I needed to tell him that food doesn’t belong on the floor; it belongs in the bowl or on the table.  I reminded him over and over that I like when he puts things on the table rather than on the floor when he is done with it.  It is amazing to me that simply giving him instructions works.  I now see all kinds of things on the edge of tables around the house.  I am thrilled that he is putting things up rather than leaving them on the floor. Now he even surprises me by saying “bum-bum” and putting things back where he found them.

When we are at other people’s homes or at other playgroups, he sometimes will put toys away without even being instructed.  After storytime at the library where we do coloring, he puts the caps back on the pens and puts the crayons back in the bin.  I think that is because he is used to cleaning up and keeping order.

There are times when clean up does not happen and I don’t expect it.  Those times are when he is really cranky, tired, sick or hungry.  I will put him down for a nap and put his toys away for him so that when he wakes up he sees that everything is in its place where it belongs.  I think this continuity of seeing things neat and tidy is important .  I also think that it is helpful to praise your child for being neat and clean and let him or her think of himself as a neat and clean person by commenting on how they are so neat and clean.  I see an expression of pride on my son’s face when I point out how neat and clean he is.

Now by his standards it is not acceptable to have crumbs of food on the floor.  He will point to it and say “messy” and then run to get the dustbuster.  I think it is healthy for a child to appreciate beauty, order and cleanliness.  Why not start before they see it as a chore?